Rollercoaster Ride

Well, it has been a tumultuous week. Actually, this has been going on for longer than a week. I am just so exhausted by it all. I feel like an insignificant pawn in the Governor's chess match with the Union.

I work for the State. My classification is temporary civil service. This basically means I have a contract that ends every two years. In the regular course of business, even if your contract is not renewed, you are expected to go to work and will get paid. If the State plans not to renew your contract, they give you notice that they will let your contract lapse.

We have not had any notice. One day they say our positions are safe. The next day my boss tells us that if we do not hear differently, do not come to work on July 1. *sigh* Yo-yo action at its cruelest. Actually, it is not as bad for me as it was for my co-workers. Both have about 8 years in with the State. You need 10 years to vest in your health insurance. If they had a break in service, even for one day, they would have to start at Year 1 again. Plus, they would lose all their sick leave...some of them have over 3 months worth of sick leave. As I have been here less than 2 years, all those extra considerations did not really apply to me.

I was worried about health insurance, though. As of yesterday, the staff in the benefits office said that July 1 we would be considered unemployed and would have no insurance until we could apply for COBRA if we chose. My co-workers had to go to the pharmacy on their way home to fill their regular, long-term prescriptions (high blood pressure medicine, and the like) before they didn't have health coverage anymore. I was hoping not to get sick or hurt or need any kind of hospitalization.

So, yesterday we packed up our stuff, took down our pictures and other personal items and drove home after a rather glum day at work. My boss promised to call if the Governor signed our contracts to extend them.

No call last night...

Except my friend wanting to know how I was doing and if I wanted to go out and drown my sorrows. Very sweet offer. Very nice friend. But I told her I was okay and that if I felt worse later (I figured it would hit me in a week...when it wouldn't feel like vacation anymore, or when I applied for unemployment), I would call her and take her up on her offer.

When I woke up this morning, I checked for messages. "You have no messages." *Sigh*

So, I rolled out of bed and started a load of laundry. The water is still filling the machine when our office secretary calls. She found out this morning the Governor signed a 3-month extension for us and I should come into work today.

At this point, I am so numbed and de-sensitized, I wonder if I even want to go back to work. But the practical (mortgage-owing, bill-paying) side of me wakes up and says, "Go to work!" So I hustle out as soon as I can, happy that I did not unload my junk from my car yesterday, so it is all still in my trunk. I leave my clothes in the washing machine (I hope they aren't too gross by the time I get home) and set off for work.

So, like my co-worker said, it's like getting 3 months notice. After all that I have gone through, I really feel lousy about working for the State, and in particular, this Governor. I do not know what her agenda is, but she put a lot of good, hard-working people thorough a whole bunch of stress. I have a mortgage, but I don't have kids...in private school or college. I don't have to take care of my parents. It's just me, and I am lucky enough to have family here, so I won't be homeless. There's always someone's couch to sleep on, if worse came to worse. Other people in my position may not be as lucky. I know in the Department of Health alone, there were over 500 people waiting to hear whether they would have a job or not.

Through it all, I knew that it was in God's hands. That helped with the stress part. It didn't really help for the "I'm just a pawn" part. Frankly, I would rather have them tell me a month ago that the contract would not be renewed. It was the uncertainty and the daily good news/bad news dynamic that was really getting to me. I felt like an expendable bargaining chip for the Governor.

One good thing that came from all this is that people have been incredibly supportive. One lady from the Division across the hall gave me a hug today, because of the turmoil she felt I was put through. People that I generally just see in the hallway or have the occasional chat with have made a point to drop by my cubicle to say how unfair they thought this all was and how glad they are that our contracts were renewed. That makes me feel better about working for the State. The people are cool.