Strange Fascination

I am obsessed with my computer keyboard.

Well, more accurately, I am obsessed with getting rid of what is lurking within my computer keyboard.

Have you ever turned your keyboard upside down and pounded the side? A lot of debris comes floating down. A lot. It reminds me of that scene in Breakfast Club when Ally Sheedy’s character puts her fingers in her hair, leans her head over her sandwich and vigorously shakes causing it to “snow.” And it’s just as gross.

I shake and pound my keyboard until nothing else comes out. Then I fold a piece of paper multiple times and shove it between the keys – sweeping forcefully back and forth – to loosen any stubborn hold outs. Then I turn the keyboard over again and shake and pound anew. To my immense satisfaction more disgusting tidbits tumble out.

Experience has taught me that a piece of paper folded multiple times works better than the sticky end of a post-it. At first I thought using the sticky part of the post-it would pick up more stubbornly lodged keyboard flotsam and jetsam, but while sticky, it is too fragile and limp to have the desired effect. The thickness of the multi-folded paper makes it sturdy enough to extricate the bits cowering in the corners as well as those that cling to the bottom with opihi-like tenacity. It is also flexible enough to get under the keys as well as along the sides.

Those pressurized air canisters are also a great tool in this effort, but they can be kind of expensive. Blowing a concentrated stream of air works just as well (I have good lungs…another reason not to smoke, kids!) Just be careful about getting dizzy and the potential to hyperventilate. Oh yes, and remember to blow at an angle, or else the debris will pelt you in the face.

It is fascinating that no matter how many times I run my folded paper through the keys, debris continues to fall. Sometimes I need to pound more vigorously. Sometimes just one or two pieces fall…but to my delight (and yes, I know that’s weird), something almost always comes out. I think part of the reason is because while it is easy to sweep horizontally on the keyboard due to the alignment of the keys, thus quickly dislodging anything in the horizontal path; digging vertically through the keyboard is more difficult and there are more places for the debris to hide. So there’s always a little bit you missed.

One reason I have so much debris in my keyboard is because I eat while I work or play on the computer. Hmm…have I just upped the gross factor? Or are we beyond that point already? However, that cannot account for all the junk I find in there when I clean. I do not know what that other stuff is or where it originates. It just gives me immense satisfaction to watch its departure.

I realize many may find this strange and disgusting. Perhaps even a bit OCD-ish. Why am I so captivated by cleaning my keyboard? It is odd, because I am not a neat freak. I am actually quite comfortable with a certain degree of messiness around me. I think it may be because while the “getting my keyboard clean” aspect of this appeals to me, the main attraction is more about seeing the debris fall out. It is kind of like popping a pimple or squeezing out whiteheads from your nose. You are glad that gunk is not inside anymore, but it’s more interesting to see that white stuff extruding out of your pores.

Or is that just me?